That’s right, baseball and stock car racing. What it is? For the record this was one of the biggest cock teases of all time. This blonde girl looked this she was going to be the best of the four but then that dumpy ass. Come on EDGEXD, I was going to sign up for your site until I saw this mess of a shitter.
As something of a scholar of the game of baseball I have full appreciation for the importance of the perfect game. 27 up, 27 down. It ain’t easy to do. However, you know what is harder? The perfect game in slow pitch softball, unheard of. Tony Ragano is man among boys and girls (he’s the oldest player in a co-ed league). But he “slids into bases and snapps off curveballs with an obvious zeal, all while puffing on his Camel Lights”. An American hero even Candyman and Scales can admire.
I couldn’t believe it when I saw this video this morning. Jacoby Ellsbury steals home with three on and two outs. That’s a real badass, middle-finger, “FUCK YOU” move. How the hell are the Yankees so fucking bad? They’ve paid enough to buy at least five decent teams and yet they don’t even have one. No wonder they got swept by the Red Sox with dog shit play like this. You have a left-handed batter in the box and someone steals home? Sure Andy Pettitte pitches left-handed and had his back to third base, but c’mon, the catcher has a clean view of the third baseline. No one, not even a fucking cheetah or StuffyNose an 8-ball deep, could steal home with me behind the plate. Ellsbury didn’t exactly make it hard to get the tag either. He slides directly over the center of the plate, didn’t try to get the front end and avoid Posada. Hopefully this new stadium the Yankees have is cursed. The team is .500 through the first 18. I love seeing New Yorkers upset about baseball.
Better late than never…
Many of you would probably think that for a degenerate such as myself Easter wouldn’t hold much importance. Well, you would be 100% wrong. Last week was perhaps the most important week of the year for me…
Being raised in a religious family, the church holds a special place in my heart and has taught me a couple of things;
1) It is a great place to meet girls. I’ve never spent more time trying to hide the tent in my pants than while at church. My cock has spent an enternity at church painfully hard, tucked under my belt and into my belly button. The first time I finger blasted was while volunteering at vacation Bible school. Nothing like the possibility of getting caught with your fingers dripping wet to get you so excited you prematurely ejaculate. A couple of times I blew it so hard I had cock slobber running down my leg and staining my dress socks. I like to compare the stain to Curt Schilling in the ‘04 ALCS, only I typically had enough juice to stain both my socks. Curt’s and my performances showed incredible willingness to to sacrifice oneself for the good of others.
2) I have salvation through faith alone. Jews don’t have salvation. Catholics have to worry about good deeds and deadly sins. Not us Protestants. We go to heaven just because we believe in Jesus. I don’t even have to ask for forgiveness for my sins. Imagine the the comfort that provides me when I’m face deep in a plate of heart stoppers or a 13 year-old vagina. If I kill myself of an overdose or her father gets ahold of me I am assured of eternal life in heaven.
So fuck Scales for denegrating the word of the Lord. Were it not for religion I might only be able to do cocaine or touch young girls once every blue moon.