Yeah, Scales here. I’m sitting at the bar by myself like a complete goonberry. (It has a All You Can Eat Buffet, and I need booze to wash off the sactimonious bullshit that is church.) (Yeah, I go to church, but only to get laid.) But sitting there in my pew, hiding my erection, I got to wondering. Who is God? Where did He come from? Why was He so much more badass back in the day?
Sodom and Gammorah (I don’t know how to spell the second one, it’s not like I read the Bible, I do cocaine off of it.) were not destroyed by suicide bombers or the recession, they were smoted by the Allmighty. And though there is no historical proof that those two cities ever existed, dumb, redneck people believe it so it must have happened. Why would God kill those who were wicked back then but let Mexico survive today? It makes no goddamn sense. Is God now merely an observer? Does He not act on our behalf? Without God, is there a good or evil? The answer is, I hope not.
A friend of mine once told me, “I hope there is an afterlife, because I would be sorely disappointed if this life was it.” My friend then went to the Olive Garden with his boyfriend and had an all-night coke binge and homo orgy. (*cough* Ballzdeep) When it comes to the afterlife, I hope there is no such thing. Heaven or hell, they both are going to suck. If they won’t allow coke in heaven, what’s the policy on blowjobs and infedility? Either way, paradise is not the place for me. Not a lot to discuss really, just my two cents. My only hope is that when Satan sees me show up in the firey brimstone pit that is hell, he cracks open a bottle of tequila and gives me a solid chestbump. “This party just got started!”
