Posts Tagged ‘jews’

Facebook and Candyman and I Wouldn’t get Along

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

So some of you may have noticed that MakingEggs’ Facebook page has been taken down. I fear that there was a traitor among our “friends”. A jew-loving rat tattled on us for our deep sense of humor. Just because I find more things in life to be funny than do you, that doesn’t mean you have to start complaining. Grow a pair. I know whoever brought us to Facebook’s attention was probably that kid in middle school that was coddled by his parents and never taught that sometimes you don’t get your way. It’s the same kid that when he gets punched in the face for being a drunken asshole immediately threatens to sue someone. I fucking hate people like that.

jewishrat
I read shit like this PCWorld article and it aggravates me. I know Facebook is a private company and can censor my “hate” speech however they like, but come on, get a fucking sense of humor. I would hope that most people are intelligent enough to understand what is done seriously and what is done as a joke. Further, I’m pretty sure people like South Park have a Facebook page and if my memory serves me correct this little pic was on their page at one point;

cartmanhitler

Or how about Electric Retard who had this little photo up at one point;

electricretardnazideath

So please give me a fucking break Facebook. I know you are run by a jew, but lighten up. As for the rest of you, don’t worry we will be back…

The Holohoax

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

Wah wah wah. I’m tired of the jews (no capital J, I don’t respect you people as a race). That whole 1.7% of the US population can continue to manage my money and wear shitty hats, but please stop complaining. THE HOLOCAUST DID NOT HAPPEN. People that like to say that the Nazis systematically killed the jews but I say people are wrong.

holocaustdenial

Some of you may try to lump me in with Ahmadinejad, the President of Iran. Fine mother fuckers, I think he is right, a prophet, a soldier of the Lord. He and I are on the same page when it comes to this hoax. Most people have a fundamental misunderstanding of our point of view.

We don’t believe that millions of jews didn’t die in World War II. We simply believe that there were no gas chambers at Nazi internment camps and furthermore that there was no systematic extermination of the jews by the Nazis (though ask the right person (obviously not the jew that writes) on this blog and you may get a “but there should have been” response). Without further ado I present my 5 (count ‘em FIVE reasons) that the HC didn’t happen…

1) The “gas chambers” themselves…

This first point is so easy that it won’t require much work. A simple test, were you constructing a concentration camp which of the following two pictures would you want as the door to your gas chamber?

gaschamberdoor

Door A

Door B

Door B

Door A or Door B? Even a six-year-old can tell you that you can’t blow up a pillowcase like you can a balloon. Same idea here. Door A is the door to a proper gas chamber from around the World War II era. Door B is a entry door into a “gas chamber” at Auschwitz. Personally if you offered me the chance to be gassed behind Door B I’d jump at the chance. In fact I bet that fucking room is so drafty that I could cook burgers on a propane grill, repaint the walls, smoke a pack of cigarettes and huff spray paint from a paper bag and I wouldn’t even get high.

2) There isn’t a single piece of paper anywhere from the time of the war that references the “gassing” of jews. I don’t care how secretive something is supposed to be you can’t fucking do it without at least some sort of paper trail. That is why there is such a thing as confidential files. Some might say that the Nazis destroyed the files. If the Nazis thought they were going to win the war why would they feel the need to destroy any documentary record? It doesn’t make sense. They would simply classify the documents as top secret and not let anyone see them. You don’t fight a war with tactics that assume you will lose, unless of course you are that faggot that is trying to start a blogwar. That mother fucker had better go ahead and assume that he will lose. And I hope he has prepared for it, it would be a shame to have MEITS get ahold of anything damaging…

3) The gap in the photographic record is just as damning to the idea of a “holocaust” as is the lack of documentary evidence. I have seen my fair share of sketchy shit go down. I have pictures of friends getting ski poled by a retarded hooker, my friend diddling said hookers asshole and multiple friends receiving blowjobs or backwalling random sluts. Point is, since the invention of the camera nothing that sensational has ever escaped the camera’s lens. The Nazis took photos of plenty of shit in their camps. jews getting off trains, jews working, jews laying in graves, but not a single photo exists of them being gassed. Take Abu Ghraib as an example; they couldn’t take enough photos playing with prisoners. If the Nazis had “played” with the jews don’t you think they too would have taken at least a handful of Polaroids?

4) Their is no reliable witness testimony that proves there were gas chambers. This point is actually two-fold… First, the witnesses can’t get their stories straight. There are so many different alleged ways that the Nazis killed the jews it is hard to keep track of. Electrocution floors, wagons filled with quicklime and gas chambers. When it feels like people are creating sensationalized stories about methods of mass murder, they probably are. Second, who the fuck actually believes eyewitnesses, especially ones that are criminals (that’s why they were in the camps in the first place, right?)? How many people has the world seen that claim to have seen UFOs or that claim to have seen Ballz kiss men? Everyone knows that both UFOs and Ballz kissing men are complete and total fabrications.

5) Hitler didn’t hide shit. Are we supposed to believe that while Hitler openly stated the jews should be annihilated, he then went to great lengths to conceal the actual act? What kind of dumb fuck would ever believe that. Not this guy, no way.

I know that I have really taken a lot of your time tonight. I too am tired but someone has to bear this cross and do God’s work. I hope that you will take the time to reflect on what I have said and internalize it. Only in doing so will you become a better citizen of the world.

Holy Week

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

Better late than never…

Many of you would probably think that for a degenerate such as myself Easter wouldn’t hold much importance. Well, you would be 100% wrong. Last week was perhaps the most important week of the year for me…

HolyWeek

Being raised in a religious family, the church holds a special place in my heart and has taught me a couple of things;

1) It is a great place to meet girls. I’ve never spent more time trying to hide the tent in my pants than while at church. My cock has spent an enternity at church painfully hard, tucked under my belt and into my belly button. The first time I finger blasted was while volunteering at vacation Bible school. Nothing like the possibility of getting caught with your fingers dripping wet to get you so excited you prematurely ejaculate. A couple of times I blew it so hard I had cock slobber running down my leg and staining my dress socks. I like to compare the stain to Curt Schilling  in the ‘04 ALCS, only I typically had enough juice to stain both my socks. Curt’s and my performances showed incredible willingness to to sacrifice oneself for the good of others.

2) I have salvation through faith alone. Jews don’t have salvation. Catholics have to worry about good deeds and deadly sins. Not us Protestants. We go to heaven just because we believe in Jesus. I don’t even have to ask for forgiveness for my sins. Imagine the the comfort that provides me when I’m face deep in a plate of heart stoppers or a 13 year-old vagina. If I kill myself of an overdose or her father gets ahold of me I am assured of eternal life in heaven.

So fuck Scales for denegrating the word of the Lord. Were it not for religion I might only be able to do cocaine or touch young girls once every blue moon.

“I Heart Jews”

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

Let me start by saying, if you don’t think this story is funny (much less if you get offended) be careful if you engage me in conversation within the next 6 months because on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays it will be all I talk about…

So it turns out that someone might have a better sense of humor than me. Apparently a clever young lad decided to start a Facebook group called “I Heart Jews”. After luring more than 2,000 people to join he quickly changed the name of the group to “Hitler: Great Modern Man of History”. Apparently there were a couple of those 2,000 that were upset. To those people I say, “learn to take a joke”. Jews killed Christ and you don’t see me holding a grudge.

PS I just watched the video again. Even that hole Wendy can’t keep a straight face. She’s about to the laugh during the entire interview.