I mean I know it is only a PowerWheels car, but come on, that kid is a beaner, no? He could have gotten at least 5 more in there. I mean, remember this video?
EMBED-Power Wheels Kid Crashes Down a Hill – Watch more free videos
Posts Tagged ‘mexicans’
I Find This Video Slightly Confusing
Thursday, August 27th, 2009Sunday Funday
Sunday, July 26th, 2009Yeah, Scales here. I’m sitting at the bar by myself like a complete goonberry. (It has a All You Can Eat Buffet, and I need booze to wash off the sactimonious bullshit that is church.) (Yeah, I go to church, but only to get laid.) But sitting there in my pew, hiding my erection, I got to wondering. Who is God? Where did He come from? Why was He so much more badass back in the day?
Sodom and Gammorah (I don’t know how to spell the second one, it’s not like I read the Bible, I do cocaine off of it.) were not destroyed by suicide bombers or the recession, they were smoted by the Allmighty. And though there is no historical proof that those two cities ever existed, dumb, redneck people believe it so it must have happened. Why would God kill those who were wicked back then but let Mexico survive today? It makes no goddamn sense. Is God now merely an observer? Does He not act on our behalf? Without God, is there a good or evil? The answer is, I hope not.
A friend of mine once told me, “I hope there is an afterlife, because I would be sorely disappointed if this life was it.” My friend then went to the Olive Garden with his boyfriend and had an all-night coke binge and homo orgy. (*cough* Ballzdeep) When it comes to the afterlife, I hope there is no such thing. Heaven or hell, they both are going to suck. If they won’t allow coke in heaven, what’s the policy on blowjobs and infedility? Either way, paradise is not the place for me. Not a lot to discuss really, just my two cents. My only hope is that when Satan sees me show up in the firey brimstone pit that is hell, he cracks open a bottle of tequila and gives me a solid chestbump. “This party just got started!”
Ozzie Mows Wrigley
Sunday, June 21st, 2009I’ll give it to Ozzie Guillen. He’s got a sense of humor. On the way to Wrigley last week Guillen picked up some new digs from a vendor on the street. At 1060 West Addison Street he found some “Ozzie mows Wrigley” tees and couldn’t pass them up. Couldn’t find any pics but I image they look like this Zambrano shirt.
I think I’m going to whip up some “OG Mows Wrigley” shirts. I’ve got one little improvement. There needs to be some subtext. This is what I’m working with now. Who wants one?
Mexico, the Place Where Fun (and Many Other Things) Go to Die
Thursday, May 14th, 2009Greetings friends, I’m here to talk about a very serious issue that affects all of us. In fact, if we don’t work together and solve this problem, it could lead to the destruction of our planet and all of the cool shit I own. I’m talking about Mexico, specifically the little, smelly people who live there, Mexicans. Before I go any further, I present exhibit A.
Other than laugh hysterically this video also makes me think about the poor, poor police officers who have to round up these individuals. Honestly, last time I saw anything like this, I was sitting in a big top, eating candy, and sitting in the lap of my new, fun uncle. Where is all the clown make-up? What is it about motor-vehicle laws that cause mexicans such disbelief? Is there no word in the Spanish language for “maximum occupancy” or “blood-alcohol limit?” Seriously, if it wasn’t for the drunk-driving, no insurance-having, stop sign-ignoring mexican’ts, us white people could drive in peace and inebriation. But Noooooo…..
Exhibit B.
So ex-Mexican president Fox, (he wasn’t murdered?) is saying the marijuana should be de-criminalized. Great, I’m all for it Mexico. But what I’m against is the Mexican government acting like it has the power the legalize something. First, it has to be deemed illegal by a government. Second, that government cannot be run by Mexicans. You can’t control the drugs in your country because you can’t control your country. Thousands of people die by the hands of drug dealers every year in Mexico and no one cares because they are all mexicans. But as soon as one flu outbreak looks like it could spread to white people, the whole world goes nuts. I’m serious, Mexico, just go away. Give the rest of us a break. Please? You can have George Lopez and Carlos Mencia back, just give North America some dignity.
Sincerely,
scales
Happy 5th of May!!!
Tuesday, May 5th, 2009Another slow week. I’m on the road and apparently the mother fucking wheels come off this bitch if I’m not there to keep them on. At any rate, sorry about the lack of posts. I’m fucking slumming it in Europe this week and have a wedding this weekend, could be slow until next week.
So, in the spirit of anti-Mexican rhetoric on this Swine Flu edition of Cinco de Mayo, I wanted to share a little Jay Severin with you fuckfaces. Jay is an afternoon drive talk show host in Boston, MA. As soon as I’m done throwing this shit up I’m shooting him an email asking him if he wants to be a guest writer for MEITS. He’d fit right in…
Here’s what one of my now favorite radio hosts said on April 30th;
“Now, in addition to venereal disease and the other leading exports of Mexico — women with mustaches and VD — now we have swine flu… When we are the magnet for primitives around the world — and it’s not the primitives’ fault, by the way, I’m not blaming them for being primitives, I’m merely observing they are primitives — and when you scoop up some of the world’s lowest of primitives in poor Mexico and drop it down in the middle of the United States — poor, without skills, without language, not share our culture, not share our hygiene, haven’t been vaccinated… Millions of leeches from a primitive country come here to leech off you…. Now, at this particular moment in history, they are exporting to us a rather more active form of disease, which is the swine flu.”
Top 6 Drug Dealing Races
Friday, March 27th, 2009#1) Columbians
Pros:
Not only are they great coke dealers, Columbians usually have friends or cousins working in nursing homes and hospitals, thus they have a very good access to corporate drugs like Vicodin and Percocets. They speak better English than any other Latino, purposely drive shitty cars, and generally try to stay off the radar.
Cons:
Like other Latinos, Columbians are prone to driving under the influence and having ugly, ugly girlfriends.
#2) White People (who act white)
Pros:
White people with drugs are generally easy to find. Go to any large gathering and ask the worst dressed white person there about music. If any response is followed by hand chopping and head banging, that is your man. Usually will be able to get their hands on a diverse plethora of drugs, these white people are handy to have in one’s contact list.
Cons:
White people who act white have a very serious “hanging out” mentality when drugs are involved. Though helpful in scoring free drugs, can become a huge hassle. Also, a high “douche bag” ratio and propensity for exaggeration are common among white people.
#3) Puerto Ricans
Pros:
Also Latino, Puerto Ricans are fairly used to being involved in shady dealings. Can find drugs but expect to wait two to three hours longer than expected and to receive smaller amounts than agreed upon.
Cons:
Though English is close to their first language, they have a knack for butchering it to an almost incomprehensible degree. Again, expect delays and longwinded, ridiculous excuses for reasons why.
#4) White People (who act black)
Pros:
Usually will have good quality marijuana, though this could be hit or miss. Less “hang out” problem than their more Caucasian counterparts.
Cons:
Usually have poor time management skills. Also have very flashy, “please arrest me, officer” demeanor. Drugs, especially cocaine, will be inconsistent at best and pure garbage at worst.
#5) Mexicans
Pros:
Might have drugs? Easy scapegoats.
Cons:
Usually driving drunk and generally acting stupid, Mexicans represent the worst dealers on the Latino spectrum. Inherent trait of not understanding any English words no matter how similar they are to the actual Spanish words of the same definition. After drinking large amounts of tequila without eating sufficient amounts of tacos, will become violent.
#6) Blacks
Pros:
Almost all of them are in fact drug dealers.
Cons:
Despite the media’s portrayal, they are all terrible drug dealers. Their weed is schwag, their coke is an abomination, and they are incredibly difficult to get a hold of. Usually not in business very long.