Posts Tagged ‘nhl’

Titletown Goes Down

Friday, May 15th, 2009

Between the picture of Candyman’s “Leaning Tower of Feces” and the Hurricanes win I’m not sure which I’ve thought about more this morning…

Actually, that’s bullshit, while I’ve jerked off more times to Candyman’s log I’ve certainly spent more time reveling in the Hurricane’s win. Went out last night to the bar since the game wasn’t on tv in NYC. JTao, another buddy and I got fucking wrecked screaming like classless rednecks watching the Hurricanes game. There is nothing better than watching Titletown USA choke. The Bruins should have been a shoe-in for the Stanley Cup finals and the blew it. Now we just need to hope that Orlando takes care of the Celtics in game 7.

I can’t wait to read what the Boston sports blogs have to say about Scott Walker. He must be public enemy number 1 after fucking smashing in Aaron Ward’s face and a few days later ending their season. I’m so pleased with his play in the series that I’m willing to not only suck his dick but even felch my semen from his anus (that’s right, contrary to popular belief Ballz doesn’t catch).

One last thing, I was crusing YouTube this morning at the office and I found this video. I haven’t worked up the courage to watch it yet. I had such a great night last night that I don’t want to die of douche chills. If someone could do me a favor and see what these fags are doing and let me know I’d appreciate it.

Sucker-punch or Not, BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!!!

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

All the bitching and moaning about the Carolina Hurricanes’ Scott Walker knocking the fucking shit out of Boston’s Aaron Ward is really getting old. I remember when I was young watching Sportscenter every morning, before heading off to be the smartest kid in my elementary school, that hockey highlights were the shittiest portion of the hour. Why you ask? Because the NHL didn’t allow proper fighting. Now that they’ve realized that no one gave a shit about their sport without the fighting, they’ve allowed it to make a comeback. Well, to all the hockey fans out there, YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO. I didn’t see you Boston fans all up in arms when my boy Donald “Half-black, half-amazing” Brashear was hit in the head by Marty McSorley’s stick in 2000. A FUCKING STICK!!! Now can you cocksuckers calm down because my Carolina Hurricane’s broke Ward’s face in half with his fists? Please?

Furthermore, who the fuck thinks this is a sucker-punch? You are a Goddamned idiot. I, being an expert of the sucker-punch, the hairpull and biting, can tell you this my friends is not a sucker-punch. Ward had to have seen this thing a mile away. Sure he didn’t get his gloves off to fight back, but a sucker-punch by definition has nothing to do with fighting back. A sucker-punch is defined by an inability to protect yourself from the attack (which is precisely why it is my favorite move). It is impossible to get sucker-punched while standing chest to chest with another man.

So please, Boston, can we fucking drop it already. Just learn to take your losses like real men. Game 6 tonight and the Hurricanes are going to the Eastern Conference finals. Fuck yeah.

Carolina Hurricanes

Monday, April 27th, 2009

I’m about to become the biggest fairweather Hurricanes hockey fan there ever was. My roommate has been sucking the New York Rangers dick all season long. I threatened to become a Canes fan at the end of the season when it looked like the Rangers weren’t going to make the playoffs. I had visions of sitting drinking his beers on his couch, watching the Hurricanes on his tv, all while laughing about how his Rangers fucked up their season. When the Rangers made the playoffs those plans were put on hold. However, after seeing this video taken from game 6 I think that I might have to get back on the bandwagon. Simulated male-on-male blowjobs are right up my alley.