This is what happens when you are raised in Nascar Valley. You are born knowing that Houston Motor Speedway is in fact in Houston, TX. Titties, titties, titties. Football, basketball and baseball to come later.
Posts Tagged ‘titties’
I Know a Thing or two About Racing Cars
Sunday, August 2nd, 2009A Few of My Favorite Things #48
Monday, March 23rd, 2009Titty Rails
I know what a few of you are thinking. “But Scales! You can’t have two of everyone’s favorite things and combine them to make a new favorite thing. It doesn’t work like that!” Pish posh, I say.
Adding cocaine to a pair of chest wowzers is like combining blow jobs with ass play; it makes both of them more enjoyable. Some would say (mostly Mormons) that titty rails are a waste of blow, but I believe that cocaine is not just something you do to sober up for work or survive Thanksgiving weekend, it’s a lifestyle. Titty rails elevate that lifestyle to baller proportions. Sometimes, it’s actually a necessity.
Say you are at the beach with a lot of titties and cocaine and there isn’t a hard surface in sight. “Oh no! What are we going to do?” That’s right, you’re going to do titty rails! Even better, the girls are going to have to take turns doing coke off each other, which is awesome. In conclusion, when some slut screams at you, “Hey! You got cocaine all over my titties!” You simply reply, “Nah, bitch. You got your titties all over my cocaine.”
Santa Claus knows what I’m talking about…
